Everyone needs it.
Whether you are a girl trying to be more confident around boys, particularly with the ones you like, or a guy trying to be more confident with girls so that you can better try and get them to reciprocate your feelings, everyone has value that they place on confidence.
Anxiety is more rampant in our society than ever, particularly among teenagers and young adults/college students. This means less students being social, less teens making the stupid mistakes that make us all who we are, and less people that are confident with their bodies and personalities and are willing to share who they are will all they come across.
Like we’ve said before, our mission here is to try and get people comfortable with who they are and improve their abilities to impact their own lives how they wish. Confidence is key in you being able to take control of your love life. Luckily, it’s not too hard to find working confidence boosters (outside of unnatural tools like phenibut) that will leave a lasting effect on your self-esteem.
But how can you increase your confidence?
The first step is learning how to communicate who you are and what you want. Your desires and your needs are important, and being able to convey exactly what your interests are will save you a lot of time in the future, and make you more confident and commanding to boot. To get better at this, you have to refer to the age-old adage.
“Practice Makes Perfect”
Start talking to anyone and everyone. Maybe you’re a girl who only tries to be confident around girls you like. Cut that crap out, and start talking to anyone who crosses your path. If you’re standing in line waiting for some food, turn around and talk to the person behind you. You’re not looking to start life-long friendships. You’re seeking 30 seconds of small-talk and you have NO ulterior motives with it.
People who have worked retail or any job that demands constant face-to-face interact with human beings will probably have noticed how much easier it is for them to speak confidentially and even cold-approach people they are attracted to. Communication is a skill, and just like any skill, there are two rules that will always hold fast for it:
1. Some people are naturally better at it than others
2. The more you hone the skill, the better you’ll be at it
If you spend all day playing video games and only try to speak to people (that you aren’t related to) when you’re trying to seduce them…you’re going to have a bad time. And why wouldn’t you? You literally have no idea what it means to be confident in yourself in social situations with so little experience.
If you’re afraid to talk to random people, the practice of talking to anyone and everyone will quickly eradicate that fear. At best, you might make a lasting connection and add a new person to your life that you can begin to hang out with or work with. At worst, they’ll shut you down after a few seconds and you’ll just go your separate ways. When this happens, just know this: that person is having a TERRIBLE day and is on their way home to a shitty existence, and even your bright-ray of sunshine can’t lighten their mood.
Sound ridiculous? Maybe. But an important faucet of confidence is believing stuff like this – you only have control over yourself and what you do. You can’t help it someone doesn’t like you. But assuming that their situation is worse than you can see on the surface can help soften the blow for you if your confidence is a bit low and you’re just now starting to get into boosting it.
Which sort of relates to the next method to increase your confidence:
Fake it till you make it
Pretending to be confident is the best way to improve your confidence naturally. It’s the sort of thing that you might not believe until you put it into practice yourself, but I guarantee you’ll see stellar results.
Faking your confidence means you’re going to be doing things like improving your body language to convey a more relaxed and commanding presence. You’re not aggressive – unless you need to be. Otherwise you’re cool and collected, even a little amused. Because you know what you’re doing.
It means you’re going get more confident in bed. The key to improving bedroom relations is being able to take control when the need be. If you start pretending you’re confident enough to do so, you’ll be acting out the actions that you would if you were actually this confident. In this particular situation, there’s almost no difference in the physical manifestation of your confidence, whether fake or genuine, because at that point your actions are what you what them to be.
You’ll likely find yourself in a lot of brand new situations as you fake your confidence increase. People will ask you to do something, and because it sounds new and exciting (and you’re not at all anxious about it of course) you’ll agree. Sky diving, public speaking, you name it and you’re willing to try it.
Become a Yes Man
By opening yourself up to exploring any new situations that you can reasonably experience (without danger to yourself or your bank account) you’ll become more confident as the more mundane situations of your life seem insignificant in comparison. Hard to be worried about how you’re going to approach a cute girl when you’re imaging the camping trip you went on the past weekend when you faced your fear of the wilderness.
I’m not going to argue about weight or weight class. Aim for whatever you’re comfortable with, but make sure you are healthy enough that you’re comfortable with it. For many people, slimming down provides a quick boost to their self esteem that leaves a tangible impression on their life. Look at Chris Pratt, he slimmed down for his role in Guardians of the Galaxy and now the world of Hollywood has opened itself up to him – with many new leading roles now being offered to him.
Whether “get fit” means “get healthy” or “Get muscular” to you, just make sure you start doing it ASAP. Going to the gym provides you with ample alone time to improve your mental toughness (helps you keep your confidence in high tension situations) and is pretty easy to do, although one look at the general population will have you thinking otherwise.
Which is another reason to start working on losing weight – you’ll start to look better than the general population that doesn’t even lift, which will further help you boost your confidence. If you don’t know where to start, consider the 3-Week Diet for quick results.
As you can see, methods that teach you how to be more confident in yourself all involve you starting to put some active work in your life. It’s not a one-button quick fix, but it is definitely simple enough to get more confidence. You just have to be willing to take the first step, and reading this article is that first step as far as I’m concerned.