First off, I just activated my trap card. If you clicked on this post because you believe a girl to be “out of your league”, you’re now caught in my web. That’s completely negative thinking, and more importantly, won’t help you in any which way whatsoever.
So cut it out, and get more confidence in yourself.
Approaching your crush with the mentality of getting a girl that’s out of your league is starting yourself at the bottom of a hill, while everyone is is starting from the top of the hill and merely has to race down. This might shock you, but the complete truth is:
There’s no such thing as “leagues”. Or “types” for that matter, not really.
If you’ve been rejected by a girl who has said you’re not in her league or not in her type, she was either trying to be nice (with the latter excuse) or generally being a bitch (the former excuse) in which case the best thing you can do is move on with your life and go no contact on the girls who don’t appreciate you for who you are.
Now, with that introduction out of the way, let’s discuss how you can successfully win over your current crush, who you likely see as being better looking or a better person than you are.
Steps To Get The Girl
1. Accept that she’s not out of your league
I touched on this but didn’t really elaborate. There are plenty of examples of situations where girls date guys who look less attractive than them, although I’ll leave it up to you to google image for some good ones that convince you that your situation isn’t as hopeless as you’re feeling. The truth is that girls really do care less about looks than you think. Looks help, and make it easier for guys (a really good looking guy can get away with having a less impressive personality) but it’s not all that matters. If you’re at least average in the looks department, you have a shot.
2. Be Real. Be Natural.
I don’t want to just say “be yourself”. That’s generally bull shit that doesn’t really get the job done. But be as true to your personality as you can be – and I mean the way you are around your guy friends and family, not around girls you’re trying to impress.
Girls are infinitely more perceptive than guys are – it’s just nature. She might not be able to put her finger on it exactly, but something about your personality will innately seem off to her if you’re putting on a show, and she’ll keep her guard up around you. You’re not getting anywhere with a girl who can’t relax around you.
3. Go For It
Key method to avoiding the friendzone as well as those nights of “what-ifs” is just going for it. Hopefully, you haven’t known this girl for too long and pussyfooted around making an actual move. Get her number, call her, and try and set up a date. If she says no, she’s crazy and you dodged a bullet, move on. If she says yes but then flakes later and doesn’t provide a better time or date, she’s crazy and you dodged a bullet, move on. If she says yes and tries to bring a friend with her, she’s crazy and…you get the idea.
The truth is, you’re in the exact same situation whether you ask her and she says no or you never ask her. You’re around a girl who doesn’t think you’re worth dating. So just man up and go for it.
4. Be Willing To Change
Warning – this is not a step for winning over a particular girl. This is what you do if you can successfully act natural around girls, are confident and assertive, and make your intentions known (you want to date her and she should not think you just want to be friends), but are still not seeing good success. At this point, consider that who you are isn’t attractive in a general sense.
People are interested in all sorts of specific traits in individuals, but there are some traits that are attractive to vast majority of the population. If you’re willing to make a change in who you are as an individual to see more success with girls, consider adding some of these traits to your personality:
– Assertiveness (Know what you want and be willing to go balls out for it)
– Humor (Sarcasm and/or Dead-Pan humor)
– Confidence (check out our post on increasing confidence)
– Fitness (Starting working out, doing cardio, or doing a club sport. Bonus points for all three)
– Knowledgeability (Keep on latest happenings in the news )
Personalities are completely changeable with time and care. You see it happen while you’re growing up all the time as friends become enemies and enemies become acquaintances. No reason to think you can’t change your personality to become more attractive in general if you really need to.
Good luck – Go get her.