Category Archives for "Dating"
We’re not called “Getexbackguru” for no reason. Back to the basics.
We’ve all been there for one reason or another. Maybe it was an amicable split that happened because of you to just slowly growing apart. Maybe you became different people – or at least he did. Maybe he cheated or lied and you got sick of it, or maybe you cheated and realized you made a big mistake. Whatever. We are not here to judge. We are just here to help you figure out exactly how you can win him back as fast as possible.
First of all there are multiple approaches to this sensitive situation. Whose fault is it that you broke up? Who actually initiated the breakup? These are things to consider when you try to figure out the best tactic in order to make him want you back. So we’re going to cover a broad idea they can sort of twisted into your own situation to try and see if it’ll work, and then we’re going to go into more specific situations and walk you through how to get him back after experiencing a certain scenario.
Assuming you’ve already heard of no contact, correct? Even though this seems to be a tool branded specifically for guys mainly, women can utilize it very well to after a breakup stop contacting your ex immediately. There’s very little chance of you begging or crying suddenly changing his mind and making him decide that breaking up was the wrong thing to do. It’s better to appear slightly less involved than they might expect, although you don’t want to come up with a total sociopath.
Take some time away from your, at least a week, and begin enjoying activities with your friends or maybe even other guys. Don’t go too far you don’t want to turn some other guy into a rebound because any emotions are just going to start getting even more confused. Just try and rekindle some friendships, especially ones that you may have been neglecting what you are in a relationship. Get the apologies out of the way and start doing fun things to remind yourself that you do not need your man again. You might want him back but you don’t need him back. This is an important piece of the puzzle to establish early on. It’s like they say – the person who cares the least in the relationship tends to hold the most power.
You going to want to wait for your ex to take some sort of opportunity, or excuse, to initiate contact to you again. Maybe it will be a tax on a holiday, or someone’s birthday. It can be as simple as just ahead. The moment you get your text the ball is in your court. Start thinking about what kind of relationship you want to have this person, and what exactly failed to make you guys breakup in the first place.
Once you know what you want in a relationship, you’re free to start small talking with your ex to sort of get things back to a casual place. Then set up a date with your ex and try to meet up in a public place where it could almost be considered a date, but not definitively, and go from there. Because you two already had emotions for each other, it is going to be easy and natural for things to get back to the way it was before.
That’s the general guide. Now Let’s go into specific scenarios.
None this is a very telephone. After divorce, you’ve already gone through the messy legal hearings, bites, and likely aired your dirty laundry for everyone in the neighborhood to see and smell. And don’t even get me started on the various types of scenarios that could lead to this sort of break. If you’re going to try and get back together with your ex after divorce, you need to be able to look at your relationship completely objectively, as if you were a third person looking at you and you are ex in the marriage. There are couple of different guys that you can utilize in order to figure out how to repair a broken marriage and get back together after divorce.
2. Professional Psychiatrist – Different relationships are all complex in their own way. You need to speak to a professional, not your friends, who you can tell exactly what happened in your relationship so that they can help you out.
3. Use great sex to get him back – Another option to try and save your marriage divorce, good old fashioned good sex. May sound silly, but you’d be surprised just how much influence good sex has over men.
Now with the cheating on you with another woman? Or did he simply move on a little bit too quickly and find another girl to take your place? You want to try to figure out which one of the scenarios happen because if it was the former you might not want to get back with him in the first place. Let’s assume it was completely innocent and he just happened to find another girl. There are some things to keep in mind when try to win him back from another woman.
1. Could the sex have been better? There’s a possibility that you weren’t quite delivering what he might’ve expected in the bedroom which led him to try and explore his other options. You going to want to start looking into making sure that you’re not a dead starfish kind of girl. I would suggest checking out the language of desire guide in order to spice up your bedroom.
2. Were you a good girlfriend in general? Try and really consider answering this question as if you were someone else looking at your relationship. Did you do anything you could? Here’s a guide on how to be the type of girlfriend that keeps men coming back for more.
Once you answer these questions, you can begin the work on winning your ex back. Keep in mind:
1. You’ve been with him longer you have more emotional report with him. Even when he’s with her he’s likely thinking about you to some capacity. It’s like you’re both running a marathon race but you already halfway through and she’s just now leaving the starting position.
2. You can change if you need to. The fact that you on this website means that your at least admitting that there’s a chance you could do something better. Admitting get is the first step, and reading this guide in implementing it is the second step. If she doesn’t know that this stuff she can improve on she simply not going to. This means that you can quickly get the jump on her by improving yourself, probably through your sex life.
Going to want to make sure you’re not acting desperate and maybe send him a text every week or two to try test the waters and see if he’s responding or if you went no contact. If he is responding to try and set up a very subtle kind of day, perhaps a Netflix into, and go from there. It will be easier for you to make a move because you’re already comfortable with each other, and you already have quite a bit of sexual tension built up.
Let’s assume you had the worst kind of break up imaginable maybe things were thrown. Maybe we both got even a little physical. How can you win him back?
With this scenario you just want to make sure that you make it clear that you will never act the way you did during the break up again. Say your actions during the bad breakup were just your high running emotions. If you’re having trouble getting a response from the ex, try this texting guide (text your ex back) in order to send the kinds of messages that will at least get him interested in meeting up with you again. From there it is a simple as letting things move naturally, relying on your already built up emotional rapport and comfortability with each other.
One last thing to consider – should you get back your ex at all. This is exactly the right kind of question to be asking, because it means that your halfway ready to move on if you need to let you just want to make sure that moving on is indeed the right move. We’ve already written a guide on how to understand whether or not you should get back your ex, but pausing to ask yourself this kind of question is a sign of deep emotional maturity. I’m sure that if you do decide to move on, you’ll have no trouble finding a new guy.
The ancient art of teasing is long forgotten and often under appreciated. Teasing a girl, playfully or even as a foreplay into sex is one of the most powerful ways to arouse her attention (or just outright arouse her). Women are extremely vulnerable to teasing, and many find themselves easily swayed by a playful man confident enough to push her buttons, but doing so with a unmistakable lightness (so that she doesn’t just wind up getting hurt or angry because you did something terribly rude).
This is an important detail to teasing that you must not neglect. You must be taunting her from a place of playfulness, not spitefulness. You want to be affectionate while you’re messing with her.
Teasing is also a great way to measure a girl’s interest in you, if she responds playfully, energetically, or plays along with your teasing it’s a good sign that she might be interested, and at the very least she’s not uninterested. If she shuts it down, either you caught her in a bad mood or she is actually not interested in you (friend zone maybe?) , but that’s OK. You don’t want to be with a girl you can’t joke around with anyway, right?
Another important note is that you don’t want to ever be afraid to tease a girl. Too many men out there have that ground covered for you already, as you’ll soon discover. Once you get into the habit of teasing girls, whether you’re interested in them romantically or not, you’ll see how well women respond to it. That’s because a lot of guys simply lack the confidence to even try and tease a girl, because they fear they might lose the girl’s interest altogether if they say something or do something other than complimenting a girl. That’s a losing mentality.
Teasing is fun for BOTH parties involved, so don’t ever feel afraid or guilty for doing it. It adds a whole new dynamic to your relationship with a woman.
On the verge of sealing the deal with a girl? No where close but want some help? Here are some good guides to utilize if you’re the type of person who wants an exact blueprint of what to say and do, no questions asked.
Disclaimer: Don’t use any method here that doesn’t mesh with your personality, and don’t feel obligated to copy these exactly step-by-step. These are just examples of teasing that many guys have made use of and seen positive reaction to. Some of these I wouldn’t even want to do, but I’ve left you option to pick and choose whichever ones work for you.
-Whisper “sweet nothings” into her ear. Literally, whisper the words “sweet nothings”. Alternatively, do it with words that are definitely not sweet nothings. For example, after you’ve established this habit, while watching a comedy movie whisper “Adam Sandler” in her ear.
– Randomly slip bottle caps into her pockets when you can
– Try and get her to kiss your eyebrows, elbow, or something else random. Once she does it, look at her with disgust and question why she would do that.
– Offer her an item she needs (paper, pencil, cash etc) and then pull away before she takes it. Then offer it up and take it away last second again.
– Mimic her
– Replace her makeup with crayons
– Get her attention by having a conversation. Without breaking conversation, continuously hand her random objects. She’ll be naturally compelled to take them from you and be left with a bunch of garbage in her hands.
– Pretend to mishear/misinterpret her. Or flat out act deaf.
– Mess with her hair (disclaimer: this one could be dangerous)
– Offer a high five, then pull away at the last second to make her miss
– Dad jokes and generally awful puns
– Give her empty sticks/packs of gum
– Touch her with something cold
– Narrate her thought processes out loud, especially in a silly voice. Also works if she’s currently mad at you; for example if she’s giving you the silent treatment and walking around you, say “oh boy, here she comes. Oh yeah, still ignoring me. She’s really showing me what’s what now!”
– Randomly bring up embarrassing moments
– look away or focus on a random object while she’s in the middle of telling a story
– Open the door for her with a grand gesture. As she goes to step through the door, push past her and go through first. Alternatively, once she goes through first.
– Collapse on top of her and pretend to be dead (AKA trustfall)
– Walk into her and then say “hey, watch where you’re going!”
You get the idea. Rekindle with your inner child and let loose.
Sexual teasing is completely different from playful teasing, because when you’re teasing for sex you’re trying to get her in the mood. Some things you can do:
– Prevent her from kissing/touching you back as you proceed to do as you wish to her.
– Maintain strong (but not creepy) eye contact. Basically, if you’re unattractive it will come off as creepy.
– Go slowly, agonizing slowly, while make sure you’re in full control (so she doesn’t think you’re being timid)
– At a public place, like a restaurant? Under the table, start exploring her body while making sure no one you’re out with knows but her. Bonus points if you start conversations with people and leave them none the wiser while doing it.
– Give her a full body look over.
– Lightly trail your fingers around her body.
You want to exercise patience and control with this method of teasing. Anything you can do to show your restraint while still messing with her will be golden.
This phrase is sweeping the nation in it’s popularity, which could be bad in the long run. But life is short and we’re trying to help you live yours to the fullest, so let’s focus on the short term. Right now, many people of both sexes are using this innuendo to initiate a date, or rather, a hookup, with someone their interested in. The fact that it’s mainstream means that right now it’s the perfect balance of putting yourself out there but still having some plausible deniability.
You meet a girl, get her number (or get her number through Tinder). You small talk for a bit, and feel a bit of chemistry (or you’re looking to get a new friend-with-benefits). Rather than waste your time talking about platonic things until you end up in the friend zone, you ask her to come back to your dorm to “watch Netflix and chill”. She interprets this as you wanting to have sex, but continues under the false pretense of you two just watching The Notebook or some such on Netflix. She agrees, and you two set the date.
Why did she agree? There are a few options.
She wants to have sex with you and is aware of the innuendo behind “Netflix and chill” and is OK with where things may lead if you happen to get hot and bothered during The Notebook.
She doesn’t know what “Netflix and chill means”, yet is OK with the idea of being in an enclosed space with you for an extended period of time (at least 2 hours) but would prefer if it did not get sexual.
Which one of these things do you think is more likely?
So, to take the proper steps to set up your Netflix and Chill date, you want to proceed assuming she’s aware of the current stigma behind agreeing to such a meetup is going to be.
On the verge of sealing the deal with a girl? No where close but want some help? Here are some good guides to utilize if you’re the type of person who wants an exact blueprint of what to say and do, no questions asked.
You’re both playing a game at this point, teasing each other. Hopefully you have enough confidence to make your intentions known, without being too overt. Then the game becomes you two talking about stuff you both know doesn’t really matter.
“What movie should we watch?”
“How about a romantic comedy?”
“Okay, sounds great, I like xxxx”
As long as you’ve been assertive enough for the person to reasonably conclude you are interested in them, there should be no trouble with someone literally expecting only a movie and no moves to be made.
So let’s say you’ve made it – you’re at your (or her) room, isolated, watching a movie together. Hopefully, you’ve at least made physical contact with your crush by hugging her when you first met up. If not, at least move close to her or sit next to her. Then, just wait for a moment when you can gather your confidence and go for the kiss.
There’s very little chance that she isn’t at the very least expecting for you to make a move, although whether or not she accepts it or rejects you depends on your unique relationship. But you do not need to think about small things like how you kiss her, or how you initiate. There’s no magical line that needs to be said. By the time you two are alone together like this, it’s just human nature for you to at least attempt something. No matter how lame it might be.
Just remember that it’s lower than you think.
Now, of course Netflix and chill doesn’t always mean this. But it’s quickly becoming the standard, accepted interpretation of the phrase. So you should proceed assuming that both parties understand this, and if you get turned down or she says she wasn’t expecting this, just apologize and go on your way, but know that you were acting within reason. It’s more likely that the worst rejection you’ll face is a girl who doesn’t want things to move too fast requesting that you two go slower, which is perfectly fine for most guys.
If not, you can always go no contact.
First off, I just activated my trap card. If you clicked on this post because you believe a girl to be “out of your league”, you’re now caught in my web. That’s completely negative thinking, and more importantly, won’t help you in any which way whatsoever.
So cut it out, and get more confidence in yourself.
Approaching your crush with the mentality of getting a girl that’s out of your league is starting yourself at the bottom of a hill, while everyone is is starting from the top of the hill and merely has to race down. This might shock you, but the complete truth is:
There’s no such thing as “leagues”. Or “types” for that matter, not really.
If you’ve been rejected by a girl who has said you’re not in her league or not in her type, she was either trying to be nice (with the latter excuse) or generally being a bitch (the former excuse) in which case the best thing you can do is move on with your life and go no contact on the girls who don’t appreciate you for who you are.
Now, with that introduction out of the way, let’s discuss how you can successfully win over your current crush, who you likely see as being better looking or a better person than you are.
I touched on this but didn’t really elaborate. There are plenty of examples of situations where girls date guys who look less attractive than them, although I’ll leave it up to you to google image for some good ones that convince you that your situation isn’t as hopeless as you’re feeling. The truth is that girls really do care less about looks than you think. Looks help, and make it easier for guys (a really good looking guy can get away with having a less impressive personality) but it’s not all that matters. If you’re at least average in the looks department, you have a shot.
I don’t want to just say “be yourself”. That’s generally bull shit that doesn’t really get the job done. But be as true to your personality as you can be – and I mean the way you are around your guy friends and family, not around girls you’re trying to impress.
Girls are infinitely more perceptive than guys are – it’s just nature. She might not be able to put her finger on it exactly, but something about your personality will innately seem off to her if you’re putting on a show, and she’ll keep her guard up around you. You’re not getting anywhere with a girl who can’t relax around you.
Key method to avoiding the friendzone as well as those nights of “what-ifs” is just going for it. Hopefully, you haven’t known this girl for too long and pussyfooted around making an actual move. Get her number, call her, and try and set up a date. If she says no, she’s crazy and you dodged a bullet, move on. If she says yes but then flakes later and doesn’t provide a better time or date, she’s crazy and you dodged a bullet, move on. If she says yes and tries to bring a friend with her, she’s crazy and…you get the idea.
The truth is, you’re in the exact same situation whether you ask her and she says no or you never ask her. You’re around a girl who doesn’t think you’re worth dating. So just man up and go for it.
Warning – this is not a step for winning over a particular girl. This is what you do if you can successfully act natural around girls, are confident and assertive, and make your intentions known (you want to date her and she should not think you just want to be friends), but are still not seeing good success. At this point, consider that who you are isn’t attractive in a general sense.
People are interested in all sorts of specific traits in individuals, but there are some traits that are attractive to vast majority of the population. If you’re willing to make a change in who you are as an individual to see more success with girls, consider adding some of these traits to your personality:
– Assertiveness (Know what you want and be willing to go balls out for it)
– Humor (Sarcasm and/or Dead-Pan humor)
– Confidence (check out our post on increasing confidence)
– Fitness (Starting working out, doing cardio, or doing a club sport. Bonus points for all three)
– Knowledgeability (Keep on latest happenings in the news )
Personalities are completely changeable with time and care. You see it happen while you’re growing up all the time as friends become enemies and enemies become acquaintances. No reason to think you can’t change your personality to become more attractive in general if you really need to.
Good luck – Go get her.
You thought things were going good. You two seemed to hit it off, you exchanged numbers, and then nothing. Or maybe you didn’t even get that far, but one guy caught your attention and he seems to be friendly and open with everyone except you. Does he hate you, or does he like you?
He likes you.
But there are a few different (stupid) reasons that result in guys ignoring girls that they actually like.
Too many guys go to the completely wrong sources of information often (too bad we can’t show them this site easier). Their number one source of information is likely to be their best “bro” friend, who doesn’t get much attention from women himself but is excellent at faking it.
A lot of men are under the impression that ignoring a girl you like is a good way to seduce her. They are mistaking cause and effect. Sometimes, girls are more attracted to a guy who is paying less attention to them – this much is true. But usually, said guys are doing things that have a passion for, letting that fire consume them and only making time for the girl once he is satisfied with his mission.
That is sexy.
A guy who has nothing better to do than homework and video games (nothing wrong with this in and of itself) trying to emulate a guy with real passion by pretending to be too absorbed in their life is not sexy. Worst still, it’s pretty easy to see through such behavior as fraudulent.
You might just have a guy who is stuck trying to follow relationship advice but going about it the wrong way. We have actually advocated that guys do something to this effect, but we focus on guys actually being busy doing something productive if they are going to occasionally put a woman to the side for their mission.
In addition, the popularity of No Contact has guys trying to use the rule freely, without really knowing how they can use it appropriately. No contact is primarily for already established relationships, but some less experienced men might try and use it at the start of the flirting stages, to try and get your interest.
And it does sort of do that – or else you wouldn’t be on this site looking up why guys might ignore a girl in the first place.
We already did a post about shy girls and their behavior, but guys can be afflicted with this condition just as easily.
For guys, their shyness could be because they are naturally quiet, reserved (introverted) or just have low self-esteem and don’t know how to increase it.
The last reason you might find a guy you know likes you ignoring you is because he might not be sure about your own feelings. He’s afraid and insecure, thinking that he is isn’t good enough for you for whatever reason. In that case, test the waters with some escalated flirting and go from there.
In fact, the best way to deal with a guy trying to ignore you is to go more direct, make your intentions more known. Put the ball in his court, let him know you’re interested and he has a chance, but he needs to cut out the games and get serious or else you’re on to the next one.
So lets talk about no contact, also known as the relationship panacea. Why you may ask? Well, simply put, it’s pretty much offered a solution to almost any relationship, dating, sex, ex, foreveralone, etc problem out there. Whether you’re trying to seduce a girl or a guy, or trying to win them back, or trying to get them to know you even exist, there’s always someone who offers you to perfect solution: go no contact. But what does that mean, and how on earth can it possible fix so many dating issues?
No Contact isn’t a misnomer. It literally means to cut off all communication with the subject at hand, typically a crush or some other sort of object of your affection. Depending on the context of your relationship, no contact is designed to be extremely malleable, able to be utilized in whatever manner you wish to get the desired effect you want.
The problem is that most people take the term and use it literally, without also implementing the underlying conditions. To cut off all communication with a person conveys the message that you do not need them. This message works to get them to start doubting their own value as well as questioning how much they mean to you. When the mental gymnastics are over, they usually land at the conclusion that someone who didn’t value them quite as highly as they might have assumed might actually be a good person to have in their life, because this person must be of a higher value to be able to quickly terminate a relationship and move on.
In order for the person you’re using no contact on to reach this logical conclusion, it’s best if you actually use no contact to start improving yourself. Most people use NC as a dirty trick (hey, I’m no judge) in order to win over a lover. To strengthen the effect, you should take the time to improve yourself and start becoming the person worth loving that you’re indirectly trying to display yourself as. This means that rather than spending your time on no contact watching Netflix and eating Ice Cream, you might start looking up decent workout routines and diet plans, getting in the shape you’ve always yearned to be in, or improving your practical skills and hobbies (learning yoga, taking up guitar, learning a new language for example).
A lot of people take no contact as a time to win over their crush, to get him or her back, but really it should be used with a focus on YOU, not THEM.
By actively improving yourself while implementing No Contact, you take the facade (this person means a lot to me, but I can do better and I’m not afraid to make that leap) and turn it into reality (now that I can do X and Y, I’ve started to meet a lot of new people and improved my quality of life. Now I no longer need him or her as much as I thought, although I’m willing to give them a second chance).
The difference is huge, but I digress. At its core, no contact is insanely effective whether you use it superficially or as a time to actively improve yourself. Just make sure you tone it for the different goals you’re trying to accomplish, as different rules will yield different results.
One of the most typical ways you see no contact get mentioned is when people are giving relationship advice to a couple that has just recently broken up. The person who is having the harder time adjusting to the change is typically advised to go no contact, and this is actually pretty effective to get your ex back. You want to go no contact for the exact reason I stated above, to make it seem like you don’t need your ex lover, and that you’ll have no trouble finding someone to replace them.
In this context, you’re likely to receive what I like to call a “tester” message from your ex after a few days or weeks. It’ll be something short, almost criminally short.
Maybe it comes after you post up some pics of you and your friends looking good on Instagram. The power of selfies is real after all. Or maybe it comes out of the blue, when he or she is sitting alone and thinking about the good times. Whatever the reason, it’s important to ignore this text.
The first text (or first few if you really knew your way around the bedroom) is most assuredly going to be bull shit, probably designed to test your resolve with no contact. The worst thing you can do is immediately respond to it, which just validates the sender and reinforces that they were the catch in the relationship, and you couldn’t wait to nibble at what you perceived was a good opportunity for you and your ex to get back together.
The people who fall for this first shallow text are often the same people who go on to tell their story of how “no contact doesn’t work” and “even if she/he contacts you first you won’t last”. You can’t respond to their lowest exertion of effort with getting back together and expect them to value you anymore than they did when you first broke up.
So you maintain it a little longer, and a few days or weeks later (shorter than it took to get the first text post-no-contact) you’ll receive a longer text, probably sincere, with them starting to break down.
“Hey X I know you’re probably really mad at me and I deserve it and I see you’re doing really well on facebook and i just wanted to know if there was any chance of us still being something I really enjoyed the time we spent together…”
This is perfectly fine for you to respond to, as long as you follow quality texting etiquette and respond in a shorter message, preferably more neutral, expressing some light interest in meeting back up or going on a sort of “platonic” date. Of course, that date is only going to be as platonic as you want it to be. But in this context, you have all the power and your ex is trying to get you back into their lives, so when you do agree to meetup go in with this mindset and set the terms. Steer the conversation where you want it to go, whether it’s getting back together with your ex or ending things for good (nicely) .
This is slightly different than no contact for a break up, and needs to be treated as such.
If you initiated the separation:
Keep the no contact to a minimum, but do reduce contact. No contact during a separation you initiated is like saying “I really want this to end but I’m too scared to just outright end it”. At this point your partner’s mind is going crazy, and you not speaking to him or her anymore is going to have them fearing the worst for your relationship status. If you’re some sort of narcissist (still not judging) then go ahead and utilize no contact to its fullest during this split, but I wouldn’t recommend it do to the emotional damage you’re causing.
If they initiated the separation:
Hell yes. Go no contact as hell. At this point, your partner is on the fence about your value but generally leaning towards you not being worth staying in a relationship with. You being unable to find something to occupy your time with while they initiated a separation (and likely went no contact on you) would just validate this idea. So stop talking to him or her, and go out on your own for a while. You need to prove your worth to her or him, but also to yourself. Go find something you used to enjoy and haven’t done in a while. Get crazy, get adventurous. And don’t pick up your phone while you’re doing it. Make him miss you.
Generally, no contact during the flirting/seduction phase of a relationship is just going to be taken as you being flat out uninterested in the person. But if you two have been flirting for a while, it has some value when things begin to fizzle out and you feel that he is losing interest/she is losing interest in you.
If there’s still some chance of you rekindling the attraction, going no contact and then beginning to play the field (and flirt with other people) may make them realize that you are indeed worth being with. And jealousy is a powerful emotion that will also likely work in your favor – all’s fair in love and war.
The problem with this method is that no contact only works in this case if you’re taking too long to seal the deal with your crush anyway. So while it can work to finally get them to like you and date you, you would be better off in the long run if you just made a definitive move faster in future cases.
8 months? 1 week? 6 months? 3 days?
It really depends on context, situation, and the individual that you are not talking to. You want to wait long enough to see sincere, considerable change in their demeanor, attitude, and the way they treat you to know if no contact is working or not. If you’re not satisfied, go no contact longer (maybe for the rest of your life if the relationship is really not going in the direction you desire).
There are a lot of talk of no contact rules, but generally as long as you actively use the time and recognize how to tell bullshit “let’s get back together” texts from sincere ones, you’ll be fine with adjusting rules to your liking – as long as the core “no communication” stays the same. Oh, and for the love of god do not like their posts or retweet their nonsense during it.
The harder it is for you to stay no contact, the more I would suggest you need it. If your relationship was completely healthy, you wouldn’t be looking into the rules and guides on no contact in the first place. Something was seriously wrong, and here you are. Realize what needed to be change and determine whether or not you or your partner are willing to fix it up.
Having an unhealthy connection with someone who ultimately isn’t good for you is not what we advocate here, and you should actively fight against reuniting with such a person for your own good. If you need to, stay no contact on them and go full contact with your friends and family (who you may or may not have neglected while in your now failing relationship). Have fun. See the world. Improve yourself.
This is pretty much everything you need to know about the “rules” and conditions of no contact, and how you can use it to benefit your own situation. Go forth, and use this power wisely.
(Breakdown of 18 Sexts You’d Actually Love To Get by Buzzfeed)
We’ve talked about how you can get started texting a girl you like.
Now here are some texts you should never send, and why you shouldn’t send them.
1. “About to go through your Facebook and like all your profile pictures”
We haven’t really done a whole lot covering the Alpha male and the Beta male yet, because we don’t really prescribe to that ideology. There are only confident males and less confident males. But some of the qualities of a confident male (to us) include being busy, getting things done, and bringing value to those around you.
None of those traits are portrayed by you spending precious time going through a girl’s Facebook and liking all her pictures. Even worse if you tell her beforehand. Don’t get me wrong, most males do (and should) do a little snooping to at “make sure everything checks out”, but if you are going to do this keep it to yourself.
You don’t want to be the guy liking her high school summer beach pics and you’re both about to graduate college.
2. “I don’t ever want you to be afraid to poop at my house”.
That’s pretty bold. And portrays a high level of comfort, almost too high. You want her to be a little bit embarrassed about the idea of pooping at your house if your relationship is still in earlier stages. The worst case you can have is being in a relationship or a friends-with-benefits situation with a girl who does not care what you think of her. Because that relationship is going nowhere fast.
3. I promise to love you always. Even after the key changes in “Love on Top” get too high and you stop singing and just start screaming.
Same idea. You’re basically telling her that she can do no wrong, and shouldn’t care what you think of her. But to have a strong relationship with her, she should definitely care about your opinion at certain times. Singing specifically, no so much. But there’s no reason to cross that off her list of potential worries by explicitly stating it. Saying too much is a quick way to ruin a relationship.
4. There’s a really cute dog at the park right now. Do u want me to send u a pic
Once again, this goes back to the whole “being busy taking over the world” uber-confident alpha male persona you want to strive towards to be a better person overall. Seeing cute dogs is fine, but there’s absolutely no reason to start blowing up her phone with pictures of them. And even less reason to ask before you do so. If you’re going to go friend zone, go balls out and take action. Drive head first into that zone.
5. “I want to take a road trip with you. You can drive and pick most of the music. I like when u sing & rap along with the music. U make the songs better. I will harmonize w u. I will also buy and bring all the snacks”
I’ll break this one down line by line.
“I want to take a road trip with you” – Not bad. Would be better said from a more confident position “Let’s take a road trip”. Would also be infinitely better said in person, spontaneously.
“You can drive and pick most of the music.” – The drive part depends on the individual, some people would say you should take the charge and do the driving. I say it’s OK to do either. But you never give up most of the music rights. Especially not off the bat. For one, that’s negotiation power you’re just giving up. Secondly, you don’t know how many girly songs are on your girls’ phone. I guarantee you, you don’t. Even if you just took it and listened every song yesterday.
You have no idea.
“I like when u sing & rap along with the music” – This isn’t a bad fact to admit randomly, but it falls into that “unnecessarily explicit” category that you generally want to avoid over text. No reason to really say it.
“U make the songs better” – Now this is just lying, and you should have an open policy of honesty with your crush. She makes Rihanna and Shakira sound better? Get real. Unless her ipod is full of Iggy Azalea songs I don’t see how this is even remotely possible.
“I will harmonize w u.” – Unless you’re a professional singer this is the sort of emasculating behavior you want to reserve for special occasions if at all. Once again, he’s giving away valuable bargaining power for no reason.
” I will also buy and bring all the snacks” – He might as well have signed over his rights and agreed to be her slave at this point. This guy has no idea of his own value, and is just offering himself up for her amusement.
In fact, that entire text is composed of them doing a fun activity that they would both enjoy, where he opens by agreeing to sacrifice a lot of himself so that they can both have fun. That’s literally insane. It would have been just as fun for the both of them if he had just said “Let’s go on a road trip”. He made it harder for himself.
Keep it simple stupids.
6. “On my way home from work. Let’s light some candles and have sex to your favorite podcast”
This one is pretty good. Should have kept it at “Light some candles” or “Light some candles omw home from work” for it to be even better though. Getting explicit about sex outside of sexting or phone sex is pretty weak in my opinion, and detracts from immersion and spontaneity. This guy has more idea about bargaining power than the sucker in #5 does though. He leverages her favorite podcast with sex. The only problem is again, he’s bargaining to engage in an activity that they will BOTH enjoy.
7.*approaches you very slowly* *pushes your hair behind your ears* *rests my hand on your thigh* *asks if you want to get donuts*”
This one depends entirely on the guy sending it and the relationship the two are in. If they normally have sex all the time and he’s spontaneous, this is pretty funny because of the twist. If they have sex a below-average or average amount of times, it’s pretty weak. He started off potentially sexually and then backs down, valuing humor over turning his girl on. So again, depends on the balance of the relationship. In general, you want to avoid these sort of texts that literally turn your actions into words with the *. All I can think of when I see texts like this:
8. Thanks for the selfie. You look great in this picture. Your low ponytail doesn’t make you look like Gaston from Beauty And The Beast at all”
Another situational one. If she didn’t mention Gaston at all in this conversation, this is hilarious. In that context it’d be him sarcastically comparing her to Gaston just to mess with her. Might get him a “Oh you asshole!” but she’ll say it with a smile on her face. If she literally sent him a picture and asked if she looked like Gaston, he would have been better off responding with some famous line from Beauty and the Beast to joke around with her and hint that the answer is yes, even though it obviously isn’t. AKA Teasing, an art you should all learn.
9. Breakfast for dinner?
Another one that has a maximum potential, regardless of context, to be “OK” to send. Would be slightly better off without the question mark. Also since he didn’t specify what breakfast is, I doubt it’s that prudent. AKA didn’t need to be said over text.
10. I’m at work right now thinking about you Thinking about how hot it would be if I could watch you eat an entire ice cream cake
Another liar. There are a few men in the world who would genuinely enjoy seeing their girl gorge herself on food, but I highly doubt he’s one of them. But really, this text is again not that bad if it’s coming from a guy who is normally only about the physical/sexual aspect of a relationship and can pull this off without looking like he doesn’t have the balls to take something full sexual instead of going sexual at the start and then changing it up midway.
11. “Let me take you out to dinner tonight You Deserve it If there’s a cute baby at the restaurant, we don’t even have to talk You can make faces at the baby the entire time”
Let’s break it down again.
“Let me take you out to dinner tonight” – Fine. Better said a bit more assertively since you’re doing her a favor after all. “I’m taking you out to dinner” is an improvement. The way he says it is basically asking her permission for him to pay for her food.
“You deserve it” – Unnecessary. I don’t think she needs to hear your reasoning behind giving her a free meal. And if she actually does deserve it, you can be doubly sure that she already knows.
“If there’s a cute baby at the restaurant, we don’t even have to talk. You can make baby faces the entire time” – Extremely unnecessary. Cute in idea, but random and also a bit emasculating. Can you imagine Superman saying this to Lois Lane? Harvey from Suits saying this to Donna? Batman saying this to Lois Lane (see what I did there)? Think of any true male role model that you can follow. Before you send a text, imagine if they would send it to a girl they fancied.
12. Gender is a social construct
Ok. What the **** are you trying to accomplish with this text, and why was it important for you to send it to your girl at that point? Always have a point gentlemen.
This one is funny. Works fine.
But WHY does it work?
– Starts off sexual, then goes comedic. A few of the other texts do this, but fail because they don’t follow it up with:
– Potentially (mystery factor because she’s not sure) sarcastic compliment (“You’re so funny” in that context is perfect)
– Over dramatization/ Blowing things out of proportion (“Favoriting ALL her tweets to keep up the charade for her boss).
Sarcasm and over dramatization for humor work wonders.
14. “I want us to fall asleep together while we’re watching all the rocket launch videos you have saved under your favorites on YouTube”
Here’s another borderline good text depending on context of their relationship. If fairly sexual (as in there’s no chance that “fall asleep together” means “fall asleep together without having sex”) then this is OK, and even better if she had no idea he was aware of her rocket launch videos before he sent this text. Then its a humorous reveal, although hopefully not because he was snooping through her YouTube account.
15. “Finding Nemo is Pixar’s masterpiece”
Another text that has no reason to be sent. Keep It Simple Stupid.
16. I get so turned on when I think about all the times you’ve had gas after eating too much food around me”
I almost wanted to cauterize this text. But then I realized that once again, it has potential depending on the guy who sent it. If he’s pretty funny/sarcastic, and this message will most likely be interpreted as sarcasm, then it’s OK. Otherwise, it’s not OK and a lie. Unless he happens to have a fetish for gas. Then it’s OK as a way to start Sexting…and wrong on other levels.
Overall, better delivered in person so she can clearly interpret you being sarcastic (hopefully).
17. If there was ever a spider in our house I would take off my shirt and kill it in front of you.
This one is OK if it was brought up mid-spider conversation, and said sarcastically. If said out of the blue, it’s…OK. Another unnecessary text but it has a bit of humor so it’s…OK…I guess…
Only works if being sent as a bit of a taunt.
All these texts are from a buzzfeed article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/gracespelman/18-sexts-id-actually-love-to-get
Overall, most of the men made the mistake of saying too much or undervaluing themselves in their texts, which made most of their messages completely weak.
The truth about penis size is that a lot of men’s confidence is directly linked to the size of their penis and whether not they feel like they will be able to satisfy a woman with their size or skills. It’s completely natural, and a feeling that most men find themselves coming to terms with as they mature and get older. A lot of them will even abstain from sex, hoping that their penis size will increase as they get older. They make the mistake of playing the waiting game, and not interacting with women until they are sure they can satisfy them. But practice makes perfect.
You may not believe it when girls say that size doesn’t matter. The completely honest truth about penis size is that it does matter to an extent, but as long as you can make up for it with other factors you’ll still be fine. For those of you who are tired of inaction, and want to see what you can do to increase dick size naturally, read on.
There are a lot of publicly advertised methods that are designed to help you get a bigger penis. We’re going to review the best of the best methods, so you don’t waste your time investing in bogus male enhancement pills or things of that variety.
Simply stretching your dick, following proper methods, is a good way to see slow, but guaranteed results in increasing your penis size. If you follow this method, you’re going to want make sure you first warm up, and afterwards warm down. It’s not unlike body weight training in that regard.
The warm includes literally putting a warm wash cloth, heated rice sock, or moist heating pad on your penis and keep it warm for 5 minutes, to increase blood flow and loosen it up for the incoming stretching. You want to make sure you don’t overheat and burn your penis of course, so the process should literally involve something warm. Not hot.
First, make sure you lubricate your penis and hands with baby oil, Vaseline, or other penis safe oils.
Second, you’re going to want have about half of an erection. Exact measurements are not super important, you just want to make sure that there’s more blood in your penis than flaccid, but it’s not fully erect.
Form an OK grip by connecting your thumb and pointer finger.
Start at the base of your penis, and grip loosely and as close to the pubic bone as possible.
Move up, maintaining that light pressure, up from your pubic bone to right before the glans (head) of your penis. As you’re moving up, take your other hand and form the same OK grip at the base of your penis again.
By the time your first hand reaches the beginning of the head of the penis, the other hand should be at the base and ready to go again. Repeat for 15-20 minutes. Stop if you feel any pain and consult jelqing guides. You want to take this nice and slow.
Immediately after jelqing for a full routine, you will probably notice your flaccid penis is bigger for a few hours. Keep it up. Flaccid size increases before erect size does.
Regular stretching for size is actually quite a bit different from jelqing, although jelqing seems to be more efficient and you can definitely feel the process more. Immediately after jelqing. In fact, it’s literally stretching.
First Make sure you warm up with a warm towel, rag, or anything you can hold on your penis for a minimum of five minutes to reduce the chance of damage and improve blood flow. Then:
Firmly grasp the head of your penis and stretch it outward away from your body. Hold for 10-25 seconds. This is your first stretch. If you want to see lasting results, as well as have even gains across your penis to prevent the development of a pencil dick, you’re going to want to do this in a few different directions.
In between changing the direction and set, you’re going to want to rest. During this rest period, do 100 kegels.
Kegels will have the added benefit of:
One redditor even raved over the exercises:
“I’m multiply orgasmic. My record is 12 in a row during masturbation, and 3 with a partner”
Click the image to be taken to his post and experience with kegel exercises for better sex.
Smoking directly affects the amount of blood flowing through your body. Less blood directly means a smaller penis, so knock it off.
Just like smoking reduces blood flow, exercising regularly increases blood flow, expands arteries, and allows more blood to flow freely into your penis.
Get the necessary vitamins and minerals you need to keep your blood flow up as well as balance out your hormones.
A lack of testosterone can cause weaker erections or other symptoms of erectile dysfunction.
There are a few other methods for penis enlargement, but the large majority of them are not as effective as these methods we’ve listed. One thing you’ll notice is that all the penis enlargement gurus advertise one thing: Persistence. You have to be willing to put in a few minutes a day constantly to see good results, but paradoxically must know when you need to take a rest day. Good luck.
Do not use proper grammar. Optionally, do not use proper spelling.
I know what you’re thinking, it sounds ridiculous. But for whatever reason, texting in proper sentences is not perceived as sexy to women. Worse, it’s perceived as try-hard and nerdy. Unless you’re writing for a relationship help site to help guys seduce women and vice-versa, you’re going to instead be sending texts like this
There are two reasons for doing this:
One, she perceives it as you not going out of your way to correct your grammar and spelling for her. You don’t have time for all that. Either you’re a busy man, or she has not earned enough of your attention to deserve you meticulously capitalizing and punctuating. This is a good thing to play to your advantage.
Two, doing this will naturally make your text messages shorter, which is good, and brings us to rule two of texting a girl you like
The longer your text messages, the less points you’ll get with the girl. You’re going to want to keep it pretty short, and you also do not want to fall into being one of the many other guy she texts just for a fun conversation. When a girl gives you her number, it might be a sign that she’s interested. You need to capitalize on that interest and set up a date.
I’m serious. Keep it simple.
And by that, I don’t mean be the you that isn’t quite sure how to talk to girls and is likely to end up friend zoned. Instead, I mean only follow advice/ideas on what to text if they mesh with your personality, and the persona that she believes she gave her number out to. Unfortunately, we haven’t gotten the GetExBackGuru date-4-you service up yet (it’s hard to set up a service that goes on dates and tells you exactly what to say secretly).
At the end of any seduction through texting, it’s going to be you and her in person to close the deal.
What are you wearing?
This one is best done if you have the personality to pull it off in a half-joking half-serious manner. You don’t want to bring up a potentially sexual topic and then shoot it down yourself as though you are uninterested, that’s quick way into the friend zone. At the same time, you don’t want to use a line like this because it’s corny and too direct to start sexting with. So if you have the personality to pull it off as somewhere in the middle, use it. Because she’ll go crazy wondering if you meant it or not.
What are you doing/What are you doing this weekend?
Don’t ask these questions directly like that unless you’re pretty sure the girl is begging for you to ask her out (in which case it wouldn’t matter, and you want to be as direct as possible). Instead, make it fun.
You: “hey i know what ur doing for me this weekend”
Her: “lol what”
You: “cooking me dinner before you take me to the movies”
Her: “lol oh really?”
You want to make sure that whatever you send to her, you keep it slightly sexual/romantic to make her at least suspect that you’re interested. And make your move soon. Again, too much beating around the bush and she’ll assume you’re not confident in your abilities or performance.
Note there’s not much else on this list of things to text girls. That’s because, you should be bantering with her based off personal experiences to keep the mood light, have inside jokes, and of course, some sexual innuendo. There’s only so much a script on the internet will do for your texting, and it won’t help you on a date, so I’m not going to provide that crutch for you. Instead, take this opportunity to follow your own personal script between you two, but again, eventually you need to shoot for a date. Within a week of getting her number you should be asking her out.
For men, we like to constantly reference how one of the best things you can do for yourself is to increase your confidence. But we’ve discussed methods for women to improve their confidence as well. For women who aren’t lucky enough to stumble upon this site, it may be harder for them to come out of their shell and express their feelings – but it doesn’t mean they don’t have feelings. If you’re trying to see if a shy girl is interested, or just determine if you’re in the friend zone or not, here are some cues you can pick up on using nonverbal communication, or body language – something that even shy girls have to engage in whether they like it or not.
On the verge of sealing the deal with a girl? No where close but want some help? Here are some good guides to utilize if you’re the type of person who wants an exact blueprint of what to say and do, no questions asked.
First off, let me say that most of these signs, if you’re receiving a good deal of them, are pretty much go signals for any woman, regardless of how shy or timid she is. This doesn’t mean that you get a few of these signs and you just go for a make-out. It means that you are clear to escalate with her, and to smoothly begin flirting with her and testing the waters for a relationship (sexual, emotional, or otherwise). But be careful, wasting too much time thinking about a move instead of making one will kill your chances. She won’t wait forever.
1. Sustained Direct Eye Contact
This is one of the most profound methods that women use to show attraction, and one of the subtle signals that they interpret immediately and therefore expect boys to understand to. Basically, this is one of the key body language signs you want to recognize, as well as be able to utilize. Being able to hold eye contact during conversation is surprisingly rare in men, and mastering this ability for yourself is a great way to display confidence.
If you’re good at eye contact already, try and see if you notice a slight dilation of her pupils. This is hard to notice until you get good at reading body language, but it’s another truly strong sign.
If you’re not having a direct conversation but just so happen to make eye contact across the room, and she quickly looks away, don’t look away just yet. Give it a moment or two to see if she glances back at you. If so, it’s likely that you caught her in the act of checking you out and she’s embarrassed or surprised. Keep it in the back of your mind, but don’t yet go in for the kill until you see other signs.
If the girl finds reasons to be around you, it’s a very strong indication of her attraction to you. Your aura draws her in. Situations like you going out with a group of people, and her finding some reason to tag a long, could be her hoping for a chance for one of you to make your move. Many girls, shy or not, have enough options to the point where they aren’t going to hang out with someone they do not actively want to be around. Whether or not it is platonic or romantic, a girl going out of her way to be around you is a major sign that she digs you.
3. Hair Flip and Grooming
Oh man, I hope you’re already aware of the subconscious hair flip. Or brush-hair-behind-the-ears. Depends on the individual girl and her hairstyle, but essentially this is a classic way for a girl to indicate attraction through body language. If she’s fixing her hair around you, that means she’s subconsciously worried about your opinion. If she brushes her hair behind her ears, or ties her hair into a ponytail or bun behind her head, this is a subconscious sign that she likes you. The meaning behind this move is that she is exposing more of her face for you to look at and judge, and hopes that you’ll find her appearance to be satisfactory. Similar body language includes preening, or her fixing her clothing around you as well.
4. Smiles and Laughter
You’re a normal guy. You have some wit about you for sure, but nothing major. But man, this chick giggles around you like you’re Kevin Hart. Guess what, she’s probably seriously into you. Often times you can attribute this to the halo effect, or the phenomena where an individual is automatically interpreted to be good, or better than average, because of their level of physical attraction to the person perceiving them. If she finds even your lame jokes funny, it might be the halo effect making you see more funny, confident, and outgoing than you really are. Or you might actually be that funny, confident, and outgoing. In which case, she probably does like you. Those are some seriously attractive qualities.
5. Language and Tone
If when she does speak, she speaks in a higher pitched tone, or uses childish/cute language, that means she likes you and is subconsciously appearing to be more feminine and innocent to submit to your energy. Also, if you make up a phrase or word use it for a few days. See if she doesn’t work it into conversation with you, or brings it up with an air of fondness.
6. Asking Questions
If she asks a lot of questions, or specifically useless questions, it’s a sign she likes you and is enjoying your attention and/or wisdom as you humor her. Serious questions may not apply, but questions that she could have easily answered on her own or where the answer is obvious are just her working to get your attention.
7. Eager to Interact
Wait for a moment when she’s not doing anything or preoccupied, and then call her name and start a conversation. Judge how quickly she drops what she was doing to engage with you, and how her mood and enthusiasm compare between whatever she was doing and the conversation she’s having with you now. If she’s responding as though she feels blessed to have your attention, you have yourself a winner.
If you’re finding yourself reading this list and going “yup…yup…yeah!” then you are a moron and wasting your time. This girl is practically dry humping you. The next time you see her in person, ask her out on a date. Try and choose a place that will be just the two of you alone, and preferably will allow you both to get casually physical to start breaking the touch barriers. Note: Movies are not a great first date, unless it’s a Netflix at her house type deal.